Week 8 Results

Don’t ever say that The Gentleman doesn’t listen to his fans… or fan to be more exact. Without further ado, the return of the Results post!

GAME OF THE WEEK

DEREK vs. ANDY
This was indeed the game of the week! Only two games featured two 100 point scorers and this game was the only matchup to have both teams crack 110. Derek chose the wrong Cardinals running back to start but it didn’t come back to bite him in the ass as Ja’Marr Chase helped carry Derek to a win, which means the Elder Davis will probably trade him to Colin for Khalil Shakir and Jaydon Blue.
PICK: DEREK / WINNER: DEREK

BATTISTA’S DUD OF THE WEEK

BRETT vs. GRANT
Brett clearly took exception to being part of the dud of the week and his team showed up to play. Grant saw Battista’s in the pick title and decided to shit the bed. Brett won despite Jacoby Brissett playing like he was trying to get traded, opening the door for Minshew Magic to make a return. Brett was so confident this week that he didn’t even bother to fill out his roster, playing the game with one empty bench spot which probably should be used to find someone to play in place of JK Dobbins, who has lost his starting spot to Grant’s Jonah Coleman. Braelon Allen looked like a beast, which might be a problem as Breece Hall comes back next week and they might split carries moving ahead.
Grant was left down by his special teams - IDP and K got him 12 points.
PICK: GRANT / WINNER: BRETT

ELI vs. COLIN
THE COMMISH IS BACK! A Hall of Fame weekend for Eli as his trade acquisition dropped 27.2 points. His last minute IDP addition Amani Hooker brought in 17 points (but was picking off Eli’s QB which mitigated some of the joy). And Joe Burrow almost put up a 50 spot. Even throw-in Pat Freiermuth hit double digits.
Colin’s team was clearly confused or intimidated by all of The Commish’s maneuvers as none of his non-QB offensive players managed to hit double digits.
PICK: COLIN / WINNER: ELI

NATE vs. PLAYER #14
Let’s hope Monday is as good as it gets this week for The Veep. Michigan’s Haley Stevens just called into the Fox News to say that she always believed in Player #14 and thinks the Triple Deke is actually the best move in football history. Nate’s team falls to .500 and the pressure is mounting because Greg Rousseau deserves better and Greg Gang won’t sit around and let him waste his talent on an also-ran.
PICK: PLAYER #14 / WINNER: PLAYER #14

NICO vs. DANA
Nico brushed off the low trade grade and the recent struggles to reclaim his spot as a top contender. Meanwhile, Dana put up a respectable (but not a Points Victory) 101 points but he watched Ashton “Top 5” Jeanty get demoted to third down back and Keon Coleman turned back into Keon Coleman.
PICK: NICO / WINNER: NICO

ERIC vs. BRENDAN
UPSET OF THE WEEK! In a classic let down game, Brendan got a little too high on his horse and let the Pizza Sheets shock the world and ruin a lot of Survivor Pools. Apparently, we need to spell tre tucker and tyler Warren with lower case T’s as they proved to be Low T count men, combining for a whopping 3.8 points. Tre Tucker scored as many points as Tanya Tucker or Tucker Carlson or Tucker: A Man and his Dream.
Eric brings himself back to .500 and has a Big Three in Caleb Williams, Puka Nacua, and Jaylen Warren who should keep him in most games. He really needs to find a better WR besides Xavier Worthy, if he wants to be a real threat.
PICK: THEE GOSPEL / WINNER: ERIC

JOHNNY vs. RAHUL
This might be the dud of the year. Johnny needs 23 points from Kyler Murray to break 70 points while Rahul found himself on the wrong side of 80 points. You’re not going to win many games when Greg Dulcich outscores your WRs and Flex guy. Rahul was another manager who decided not to fill out their roster or maybe he just couldn’t find anyone who was willing to play for this cursed squad, especially on Halloween weekend.
PICK: THE PROUD JAN 6ERS / THE PROUD JAN 6ERS

MENDO vs. YURK
FantasyPros now claims that I have the fifth best team the rest of the way. I don’t know how much I believe that. I have a squad that seems to like to score in bunches and then take off weeks at a time.
This was a rough week for Yurk. He lost Lamar Jackson, the MVP of his team, and now he desperately needs Jonathan Taylor to get traded because this Colts team is done. A JT trade would also move Seth McGowan - who sounds like a side character from The Departed - into the starting spot but do you really want to start a Colts running back at this point?
PICK: MENDO / WINNER: MENDO

BERNIE vs. MARK
When it rains, it pours. Or in this case, when it rains, Michael Penix gives the much maligned Mark -1.9 points for the day. He managed to get Drake London 3.3 points but couldn’t get himself in the positive. When Eli wasn’t telling his whole family about how he was the high scoring team this week, he was probably screaming I TOLD YOU SO! as Jaylen Waddle did his damn thing, hitting paydirt and scoring 13.4 points - which was the highest scorer on Mark’s team this week - while on the bench. Mark couldn’t even manage to get beat by 50 to get a better team name!
PICK: BERNIE / PICK: BERNIE