Week 1 Matchups!

FANTASYPROS MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!

COLIN VS. ANDY
If you trust FantasyPros, Colin and Andy are the #3 and #4 teams in Week 1.
Pro Tip - Don’t ever trust FantasyPros.
But let’s give them the benefit of the doubt since ESPN also has this as the highest scoring affair of the opening weekend. The Flex spots are my biggest concerns for Colin. I never like starting a TD-dependent TE in the Flex and who knows what the Patriots RB rotation is going to look like. But if Stevenson can get the red zone work, perhaps he can turn the tables and match Damien Harris’s 15 TD year in 2021, back when Rhamondre was the rookie stud for the Pats. Unfortunately for Colin, that might not be enough as my gut is telling me that this could be the biggest week of the season for Brock Bowers, Jerome Ford, and Chris Boswell.
WINNER - ANDY

UPSET OF THE WEEK!

BRENDAN VS. JUSTIN
Last year’s points winner vs. The Champ! Battle of the Titans!
Brendan has a lot of key players in this week’s two highest O/U matchups - DAL/PHI and BAL/BUF. My concern is that those points could come more from Baltimore and Phily rather than Dak, CeeDee, and James Cook. As someone who finds himself inexplicably heavily invested in the Cardinals, I’m biased here but I’m not sure if having an two Saints in the flex spot is wise against the Cardinals (fingers crossed) improved defense.
But this is why they play the games. And more of Brendan’s guys are playing those games at home. Still, I’m still going with the +5.8 dog to win this one outright.
WINNER - JUSTIN

CONTENT GAME OF THE WEEK

DEREK VS. MARK
This game features a lot of mirror image matchups that would help podcasters and content creators fill up their feeds. There’s a lot to discuss surrounding:
Disappointing #1 Overall QBs - Bryce Young vs. Trevor Lawrence
Hyped Up Rookie RBs - TreVeyon Henderson vs. Omarion Hampton
Wildcard WRs - Chris Olave vs. Marvin Harrison
Sophomore Breakout Candidates: Rome Odunza vs. Ricky Pearsall
But when it is all said and done, I think we could see: the Bengals having another underwhelming opening day, Colston Loveland and/or Rome Odunze dropping a sub-5 point game, Trevor outdueling Bryce and Hunter Henry bringing home two touchdowns.
WINNER - MARK

DEADZONE GAMES OF THE WEEK

ELI VS. JOHNNY
If there was a Vegas League Red Zone channel, I feel like this is that one matchup that never gets shown. They show replays of the scoring plays five minutes after they happen and the host just says, “Sunday Ticket subscribers, turn to channel 714 if you’re interesting in checking out this one.”
The Borts are the second biggest favorite of the week. Johnny has a bench full of decisions to make and, currently, he seems like he’s going to be Week 1’s leader in points on the pine. Then again, there might be no right answers for him because a lot of his players face tough defenses. FantasyPros has Eli and Johnny neck and neck when it comes to the season standings (7th and 8th) but, as Johnny’s luck would have it, FP has Eli overachieving this week (ranked 6th) while Johnny’s prospects drop to 11th.
But I think the most important aspect of this game is that the league and podcast are better off when Eli has some confidence in his team and he starts letting himself believe that this will be the year he finally wins his fourth title. There can be no calamitous (and highly entertaining for everyone else) collapse without some early Ws, so let’s go Eli!
WINNER - ELI

DANA VS. RAHUL
This matchup brings out the sociopath in me - I feel nothing when I look at this game. Just complete and absolute emptiness. FantasyPros has it as the second best matchup of the week with Rahul ranked #5 and Dana ranked #7 but still… nothing. This is what clone Rahul must feel like every day.
Since I have to make some sort of pick, I’m going to give this one to the Ravens stack. If I’m wrong, it’ll probably be because Ashton Jeanty runs over my beloved Patriots but I’m going to hope for the best for New England.
WINNER: RAHUL

THE OTHER GAMES

JEFF VS BRETT
If FF stood for fist fight, then I’m taking Brett all the way. But sadly for everyone hoping to see a cancelled man finally face the street justice he so richly deserves, FF is for fantasy football, which gives Jeff a fighting chance. Honestly, I think this game really should have been the matchup of the week if I hadn’t bowed down to my algorithmic overlords. I’m going to say that Josh Jacobs, Aaron Jones, and Jeff’s defense give him the edge over Kyren Williams vs Houston’s stout defense, Matthew Golden’s rookie debut, and Brett’s poo poo platter of IDPs.
WINNER: JEFF

MENDO VS BERNIE
Algorithms everywhere agree that this is the biggest blowout of the week. ESPN has me at almost a double-digit favorite while FantasyPros has me as the #2 team this week while Bernie is stuck in the basement. If the computers are right, Bernie is in for a long season but at least, he’ll always be able to say “I’ve sucked dick for less” because fellating for his roster could be as low as it goes. I don’t want to get too cocky - especially with the Curse of the ESPN #1 Ranking looming over me - but I have good matchups this week so I’m going to eschew going with the reverse jinx and just say that the best man is going to win,
WINNER - MENDO