Week 12 Recap

A rough 3 - 4 week on the predictions although one was a pity pick and I saw two of the other losses coming but picked with my heart instead of my head.

GAME OF THE WEEK

ELI vs COLIN - PICK: ELI / WINNER: ELI
Eli’s fantasy defense outdid themselves this week, holding Colin to a mere 85.7 point so it looks like The Commish didn’t need to cheat and suspend Ja’Marr Chase after all. With his win, Eli clinches the Round 1 bye and first place and has also pretty much secured the Points Scored prize. Utter domination.
Colin slides to 5th place both in record and points. His magic number is basically 1 - with a win or Brendan or Rahul loss, he’ll clinch a playoff spot. With Anda in Week 14, things would really have to fall apart for Colin to lose but he is a Buffalo Bills fan so anything is possible.

UPSET OF THE WEEK

BERNIE vs ANDA - PICK: ANDA / WINNER: BERNIE
The pity pick didn’t inspire a rousing performance from One Shady Motha, who dropped his second straight double-digit performance thanks to the 2025 Gabe Davis Memorial Boom-Bust Award nominee Jameson Williams. Wooster (which is pronounced Worchester in Massachusetts) is now back at the bottom, which will likely inspire many a gay panic joke from The Veep. Next week, we get to see what happens when two bottoms hook up as Anda faces fellow cellar dweller Justin in a battle to see who might have to handle the draft board next year.
Oddly enough, last week, Bernie’s team lost to a team that scored 108.7 while, this week, Bernie won with… 108.7. Is there a transistor radio somewhere that Anda could dial to that frequency? Are the aliens trying to tell us something?! Did they already take Wooster and that’s why there’s no podcast? Is Eli in on it?! Are the aliens the reason nobody can score when they face Eli this year? It’s all starting to make sense.
At 7 - 5 and second in points, Bernie should feel fairly secure in his playoffs - a win against Thee Gospel this week will lock in his playoff spot - and his eye might be now focused on getting back the crystal bowl bearing his name!

THE REAL GAME OF THE WEEK

RAHUL vs. BRETT - PICK: RAHUL / WINNER: BRETT
Probably the only thing I’ve discussed as much as that horrible Ja’Marr Chase trade is the fact that Rahul’s team will only go so far as Lamar Jackson will take it. Even with my guy Emmanuel Wilson dropping 25.5 points, Rahul couldn’t survive Lamar dropping 7.1 points. The Gentleman can’t blame Rahul for playing Jordan Addison over Tyrone Tracy Jr. but if Rahul had a little more faith in his favorite team, he could have walked out of here with a victory and still be tied for the 7th playoff spot. On the bright side, Johnny’s horrible week has moved Rahul above him in the points category, opening up another pathway to the playoffs. He’ll need a lot of help but there’s still hope!
But let’s hand it to Brett - who now sits in 2nd place - because his initial lineup would have had him on the wrong end of the scoreboard but he heeded the blog’s good word, benched Kyle Pitts, and in starting Kenneth Gainwell, got himself the points he needed to secure a victory. With his victory over Rahul and The Gentleman’s loss, Brett has pretty much secured a place in the playoffs. To miss out, Brett would have to lose both of his last games and Brendan would have to win both AND outscore Brett by 150 points.

THE REST OF THE WEEK

THE VEEP vs MARK - PICK: MARK / WINNER: MARK
The Gentleman said, “maybe Puka and Jahmyr can will him to victory” and Mr. Gibbs decided to just do it on his own, scoring 49.9 points. Mark also exemplified the saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” by picking up Michael Wilson, who has been everything Marvin Harrison Jr. was supposed to be (for these last two weeks, at least.) There is some FLEX concern for McBarge - Bucky Irving is set to come back, which could render Rachaad White as useless and, let’s put the hard truth out there, has Ricky Pearsall done anything of note besides get shot? That being said, Kimani Vidal will be back from bye next week so there’s really only one slot that Mark has to stream. With this victory, Mark controls his destiny.
As for The Veep, it would take a historic collapse to miss the playoffs at this point. And we’ll see if he tries to make a move for a QB; he talked a lot of trash about Sam Darnold during the draft - although he was probably just mad that he was no longer a Viking - and now he’ll be his starting QB the rest of the way. And, in the playoffs, he faces the Rams and Niners. When Sam faced those teams earlier in the season, he scored 5.4 vs. San Fran and 5.1 vs. LAR. Listen, I get that the real veep has done well behind a leader who constantly shits his pants but I don’t think Player #14 will be so lucky.

JUSTIN vs JOHNNY - PICK: JUSTIN / WINNER: JUSTIN
Yurk is showing the true spirit of a champion and isn’t going down without a fight. Yurk is in last place but this week, he is #1, winning the Weekly High Score award! There’s no quit in Justin Yurkanin! I mean, he’s just a Q short and there is a stinky, junk, and insanity in there but also NINJA which is what The Champ could be at the end of this season, sneaking up on unsuspecting opponents and dismissing them with skill and precision. Granted, it doesn’t take a ninja to beat Anda but he could decide Brendan’s playoff fate in the final week!
As for Johnny, this week was a bit of a disaster. His only QB Baker Mayfield got dinged up. And not only did he lose but he put up so few points that he’s now squarely in danger of missing the playoffs. He also let slip a bit of trivia on the WhatsApp and word is that Colin is already binging Everybody Loves Raymond in hopes of picking up any tips on how to knock Johnny out.

THE GENTLEMAN vs DANA - PICK: THE GENTLEMAN / WINNER: DANA
This season has turned The Gentleman into The Garfield in the Corner because, man, do I hate Mondays! (And, you know what, I could go for a nice lasagna right about now.) After two Monday night losses, I watched Brock Purdy and George Kittle fail to muster up a Monday comeback of my own. This week was everything I feared in the preview - Caleb Williams went off and my team managed to score nary a touchdown. Well, Brock Purdy did get one touchdown but he then negated it by throwing three INTs. A season filled with injuries and mismanagement looks to be coming to a close soon unless a lot of things break The Gentleman’s way.
Dana gets the moral victory and rises to third-to-last place (Reminder: Add a nomination for a prize for Third-To-Last-Place just to see Bernie’s head explode), although he was at no risk of facing the last place penalty so mostly this was just a nice win and now he can shove it in the Dandyelions faces for saying that he was fleeced in the Breece Hall trade. (Although Jerry Jeudy really isn’t good and had one of the goofiest fumbles of the season.) Dana gets Joe Burrow back in time to continue to play the spoiler against Mark and Rahul in the final weeks.

DEREK VS. BRENDAN - PICK: DEREK / WINNER: BRENDAN
If you heard someone screaming “BULLSHIT!”, it was probably Eli as Corner castoff Jauan Jennings helped secure the victory for The Brendandook and keep his playoff hopes alive. Granted, Eli really only has himself to blame since he could have gone after Jennings but he favored Darnell Mooney, who he ended up dropping anyway. (That being said, Mooney should be pretty good the rest of the way; his best games last year were with Captain Kirk.)
Derek was given every chance to win. Brendan started a guy named Claudin Cherelus, who I believe is a French aristocrat or a former defenseman for the Montreal Canadiens. I’ve defended holding onto Tyjae Spears but he repaid that faith by being the losing choice; if Derek had started Greg Dortch or Andrei Iosivas (who I think was The Veep’s ecstasy connection at Syracuse), he would have come away with the victory and let Eli sleep at night.