WEEK 6 PODCAST LIVE BLOG

Keep it tight, they say. And the podcast is still an hour and 10 minutes.

A Mea Culpa for confusing Jennings and Johnson but still no Mea Culpa for platforming Player #14.

Was this week’s podcast sponsored by Prozac? Where’s the energy?

Eli thinks Juaun Jennings is a big move yet he attacked me viciously for offering him in a trade. I can’t wait to hear more about this. Also, Brandon Aiyuk has reportedly started working out at practice so he might be healthier before Jennings is.

FYI: Brett’s name change was inspired by a message he sent us in the WhatsApp chat.

And yes, Booty Slap is ladies slapping each other in the butt until someone quits. Inspired I guess by Dana White’s Power Slap.

Eli is the second biggest Caleb hater besides Troy Aikman. A few weeks ago, Eli said Caleb was good for me because he gave me a legit starting QB. Since the trade, it’s been nothing but slander. On top of that, Eli called Drake Maye the best value at QB this year; he is averaging 23.8 points a game. Caleb? 23.9. And Maye cost 300% more than Caleb!

It’s Player 14. Not Player X. Perhaps it could be Player XIV but Player X is too close to Malcolm X, who Player 14 would probably hate being compared to but, still, it’s disrespectful to an American icon.

Andy trying to uncancel Jeff after the Josh Jacobs trade is like Trump giving everything to Qatar after he got that jumbo jet. And on No Kings weekend, to boot! How long until Andy nominates that we have our next draft in Riyadh? And if Player 14 is the Veep then I guess Andy is Mike Johnson, with his ridiculous spin. How can he be blamed for putting “Cancel Jeff” on the nomination list?! Clearly, Andy saw Aaron Rodgers dump all over his team and is now scrambling to be on the side of the “immunized.” One Shady Motha, indeed. Maybe he should go all-in and change his name to One Shady Tradwife.

If the Dandyelions want to monetize this podcast, they could market it as a sleep aid.

With the amount of time spent on The Gentleman, it’s clear - once again - that the Dandyelions are intimidated and threatened by the written word. THE TRUTH SHALL NOT BE SILENCED! THE GENTLEMAN WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT! Let’s break down the nonsense in the section about The Gentleman in the Corner.

- Again, Eli was offended when I offered him Jennings in a trade. But now Eli calls Jennings explosive. To me, it seems like the most explosive thing about Juaun are his bones and his temper. (Although somehow a guy with five broken ribs and both high & low ankle sprains doesn’t warrant inclusion on the Niners’ injury report.) Maybe Jennings miraculously got better this week but he looked awful out there last week. And now Kittle is back and Pearsall is back next week.
- I should have gotten more for Kenneth Walker, says the guy who offered me Bo Nix for Walker.
- Admittedly, there was some desperation from me this week but it was because of an issue that went unmentioned on the pod - Garrett Wilson got hurt, leaving me no legit WR options.
- Eli is clearly biased here because he was hoping to face Cooper Kupp this weekend instead of Chris Olave.
- Depth isn’t truly depth if you only have it at one position. Having four top 20 RBs and zero healthy top 20 receivers is not depth.
- The bye week issue is moot; We only have one RB position and Bijan Robinson has already had his bye. Holding onto a fourth RB so he can fill in at the FLEX spot two of the next eight weeks doesn’t seem prudent.
- Eli continues to pour gasoline on his Fake News fire by claiming that I made the offer. I was going after Rashee Rice but had to settle for the smaller deal for Olave that Derek offered.
- I dropped Bourne because Mac Jones looked banged up last week and I didn’t want to risk relying on a guy catching balls from Adrian Martinez. Mac is healthy and Pearsall is still out so I went back to the Bourne Supremacy.
- Between Andy’s Great Uncanceling and this attack on The Gentleman who had the cajones to initially call out The Veep’s bigotry, it’s clear what direction this podcast is heading.
- The reverse jinx might work because Carolina’s defense looks to have turned a corner, shutting down Achane and Javonte in the last two weeks, so I think that Breece Hall could bust. I’m also struggling to do the right thing and put George Kittle in over Mason Taylor.

Jordan Love is not a good NFL quarterback but he’s solid in fantasy. He’s also had a bye week and has only 8 fewer points than Bo Nix. Love will be even better when CHRISTIAN WATSON COME BACK!
(Honestly, I’m not sure why I think Watson’s going to make a difference this year. Even when he’s on he’s the exact kind of Boom/Bust guy that I don’t like. But I do think Jayden Reed’s absence will help him out.)

We almost made it through with a family friendly pod but then Andy had to talk about Eli masturbating. I will testify on behalf of any parents who now have to send their kids to therapy.

There is nothing more freeing that the sounds of the outro kicking in. The things I put myself through for my readers.

Like Deebo Samuel, I’m out.