WEEK 7 PICK REVIEW

This week, we had a rare fantasy feat of no bad beats. Every game was a blowout except for the one game which was won by the slimmest of margins - just 1.2 points. We also managed to have the highest and lowest scores of the week IN THE SAME GAME! The Champ took down Dana 181.2 - 71.4

I missed a game so it was a 3 - 3 week for me.

ELI vs KEVIN - PICK: KEVIN / WINNER: ELI
What a disaster of a week. At least, Chris Olave had a good game because everything else went wrong. I kept Kendre Miller, hoping that Alvin Kamara’s gimpy ankle or trade rumors might make him a strong hold, and he rewarded my faith by blowing out his knee. I listened to conventional wisdom and benched Mason Taylor for George Kittle and I even felt good for a bit when Taylor only mustered 4.6 points but then Kittle dumped a goose egg. Honestly, the only thing going for me is that the Jets are absolutely terrible* so the #FREEBREECE movement gained momentum (also, the Jets played backup Isaiah Davis more this week, which is another good omen.)
Eli’s juggernaut keeps motoring along. His team hasn’t scored fewer than 126 points and both Taylor and Mahomes have turned back the clock and are delivering elite fantasy seasons.

*Yes, we all know that Justin Fields isn’t an NFL quarterback but, in his defense, the Jets’s offense makes no sense. Why do teams try to make Justin Fields a pocket passer? How many more times does he have to prove that he sucks at it? Fields should be leading the league in passing out of play-action and RPO but he’s near the bottom. They had no WRs but - even after Fields was benched - they kept trying to throw it deep. Did they try to slow down the pass rush by throwing some RB screens? Nope. Again, Fields is garbage but Jets’ OC Tanner Engstrand isn’t doing him any favors.

BERNIE vs DEREK - PICK: BERNIE / WINNER: BERNIE
The Gentleman still has his finger on the pulse of Ktttssss!!! Still perfect at predicting his games. Bernie gets over .500 for the first time this season and has some momentum heading into his battle with the undefeated Fighting Borts.
For Derek, Justin Herbert piled on some points in garbage time to try to salvage the Ja’Marr Chase trade - which had injury added to insult as Deebo didn’t play this week - but nobody is fooled. Discussion Topic: What is the worst trade in Vegas League history?

COLIN vs PLAYER #14 - PICK: PLAYER #14 / WINNER: COLIN
The Veep’s squad was apparently tired out from partying at the No Kings rally and didn’t put up much of a fight. Some players have also made it known that they aren’t interested in playing for Player #14 and are now faking injuries to avoid being associated with the giddy grifter. Some people are even doubting if the Casamigos at that one bar was actually counterfeit.
As for Colin, one of these days I’ll stop doubting his team but this obviously wasn’t that day. The Cardinals apparently realized that they could throw to Trey McBride in the red zone and Ja’Marr Chase did Ja’Marr Chase things again. A cakewalk of a win on Josh Allen’s bye week is a great sign for Colin’s squad and their playoff chances.

JOHNNY vs BRETT - PICK: JOHNNY / WINNER: JOHNNY
Perhaps a stat correction could tilt the scales on this one but it seems like Johnny squeaked this one out. Brett did his best and nobody can really fault him for not starting Kyle Pitts over Travis Kelce or Kyren Williams. Even Kenneth Gainwell against Cincy’s defense wasn’t an indefensible choice but, if Andy gets to choose the Toto bidet award, my guess is that he’ll give it to Brett for the Gainwell start.
As predicted, Johnny’s team continues to ascend. Apparently, Baker Mayfield and Sam LaPorta got a little too cocky and didn’t bring their A games on Monday* but they scored just enough to get the win. Mike Evans’s injury means Emeka Egbuka should be locked in as WR1 in Tampa Bay for the rest of the season. Johnny’s going to have to make another move this week since LaPorta is on bye and he doesn’t have another TE. He’ll probably also need to move Justin Fields, who could be benched and, even if he isn’t, has the same bye week as Baker Mayfield (week 9).
* No more doubleheaders on Monday night, please. I have to imagine it’s even worse on the East Coast but did the world really need a Seahawks/Texans matchup on Monday? That’s a Thursday Night throwaway game at best.

BRENDAN vs MARK - PICK: BRENDAN / WINNER: MARK
Eli’s prayers were answered as the man who haunts his every waking moment, - let’s call him The Brendandook - wasn’t able to pull out a victory this week. Brian Thomas Jr. has a bye this week but that might be a good thing for both Brendan and Brian Thomas - who leads the league with 9 drops. The Dak/Cee Dee stack is a winner and James Cook will be back next week, but the rest of the supporting doesn’t seem strong enough to make this team a contender.
Mark just needed some shit talk from the pod to light a fire under his ass and get back into the win column. The biggest win was word that Puka Nacua is likely to return after LA’s Week 8 bye. Jahmry Gibbs and three IDPs in double-digits were the key to this win. Marvin Harrison seems to be the WR equivalent of Trevor Lawrence - the generational talent who wasn’t. Mark’s bench delivered the rare group donut as four guys were out and Jalen Coker didn’t catch either of his targets. Things need to change next week as it is Mark’s dreaded Byepocalypse with Puka, Jahmyr Gibbs, Harrison, and Nate Landman sitting out and Omarion Hampton is still on the IR.

ANDY vs RAHUL - PICK: RAHUL / WINNER: RAHUL
On the bright side, Andy has finally scored triple digits in two straight weeks. Unfortunately, he still hasn’t won back-to-back games this season. Apparently, Jameson Williams didn’t want Andy to miss him during his bye week so he put up a big fat zero this week to ease the transition. Eli should give Andy the number to the Gabe Davis Memorial Boom/Bust support group.
Lamar Who? Aaron Rodgers was absolutely psyched to play for a team run by a clone and he put his best foot forward for fake Rahul. This was a big win as it snapped a three game losing streak and Rahul needed a W this week since next week he’ll be without JSN. The biggest issue for Rahul is RB where Bill seems like he might be a one week wonder and who knows how long Scattebo can keep beating his body up.

JUSTIN vs DANA
I never got back to make the pick for the Toilet Bowl and I would’ve picked Justin but I won’t give myself the point since I didn’t make it official. The Champ didn’t have to go so hard against Dana, who only had two guys in double-digits and barely avoided a 100 point defeat. The Champ doesn’t often win but when he does, he utterly blows out his opponent. His two wins are by an average of 86.3.