Week 5 Picks!

Lions and Bye weeks and injuries, oh my! Houses are being dropped on people left and right this week, with the latest horrible reporting being Trey Benson getting surgery out of seemingly nowhere. For all of the Q’s that ESPN loves throwing at guys, I feel like this injury was completely missed. Of course, nobody cares about the Cardinals so it’s somewhat understandable. Let’s see what this week holds in store.

GAME OF THE WEEK

Bernie vs Player #14
Now that he’s done heckling Rory McIlroy’s wife, and with the government shutdown, The Veep has nothing better to do than obsess about his fantasy football team and probably look for new reasons to bench Travis Etienne, whose name is apparently too French for Team USA’s liking. I don’t love Jordan Mason vs. Cleveland’s stout defense but Bernie is playing Chase Brown, who I don’t like against any defense, so that evens itself out. After a blistering comment in the Power Rankings, the Veep paid bigly for a new tight end, Darren Waller, who could be a game changer or could retire tomorrow, you never know with that guy.
I think Bernie’s path to victory is a big game from the Colts stack (Dimes and Warren) and Achane reaching the end zone a couple times. Carolina’s defense has to be fired up after an embarrassing performance against the Pats so that might not happen this week. But hey, at least he has Jaxson Dart.
PICK: PLAYER #14

UPSETS OF THE WEEK

Mark vs Johnny
The rich get richer as Mark now has Tampa Bay’s starting running back. Rachaad White kind of sucks but he has a nose for the end zone and that’s all that matters in fantasy. Jahmyr Gibbs also could score 50 points against Cincy’s defense. EDIT: Although with the breaking news that Brock Purdy is out, Mark now needs to find a QB for this week.
Still, there’s something about Johnny’s lineup that makes me want to go with him. Stefon Diggs revenge game. Tet McMillan needing a bounceback after the Panthers got trounced by the Pats. Justin Fields should light up Dallas. Mark’s team has been on a tear but I think Johnny’s team is poised for a breakout.
PICK: JOHNNY

RAHUL vs COLIN
Listen, I get that Rahul is a clone but a 23.5 line is disrespectful. The Roughnecks don’t even have great matchups and are still projected for a league leading 140.5 points.
On the other side, Lamar’s injury is a massive loss but there’s room for hope for Rahul. The Stroud/Nico stack isn’t as enticing as the Ravens superstack but they should be serviceable this week. Keon Coleman could break out against the Patriots’ questionable secondary. Skattebo should be able to score a TD against the Saints. That being said, I get that the name To'oTo'o is cool but why is he on a roster right now? Even SirVocea is wondering what’s going on there.
This is probably crazy talk and I’m not sure why I’m doubling down on my preseason disrespect of Colin’s squad but I just feel like this could be a bust week for a lot of his guys. I’d absolutely take the points in this one but I’m going one further!
PICK: RAHUL

THE REST OF THE GAMES

Dana vs Derek
Dana is favored?! And he doesn’t even have a full roster set right now! The Bucky Irving injury news has Derek reeling, scrambling to pick up every available RB. Derek does have some nice matchups this week but matchups don’t seem to matter with The Curse so we know that Sam Darnold is probably going to throw for 120 yards and no TDs this week. I almost made this my upset of the week but Dana also has great matchups and he just has the better players. I expect a David Montgomery bounceback game to take Dana over the top.
PICK: DANA

Kevin vs Andy
Cooper Kupp revenge game! The Gentleman sent the week 1 podcast to Cooper so he could get fired up for this one. I, for one, like the new Seattle grunge look. (Although I am nervous about this now that Derek picked up Darnold.) I’ll probably look to trade a RB for a WR next week but no need to rush a deal right now since I’m playing everyone’s second favorite league podcaster who has half of his team on bye. Granted, I just lost to a guy who started an injured running back so I probably shouldn’t get too cocky. But Garrett Wilson and newly acquired Breece Hall vs. Dallas should be able to do some damage. The Shady Lady has some nice matchups and RJ Harvey, Ollie Gordon, and Chris Rodriguez could all hit paydirt this week but I’m not betting on it.
PICK: KEVIN

Brendan vs Eli
How the mighty have fallen! Who could have foreseen Brendan starting Jalen Tolbert and Kavontae Turpin in Week 5 of the season. Tre Tucker went from a $41 bid to the bench in just one week. (However, Derek did just drop Geno Smith, freeing him from the curse, so things could be looking up for Tre.)
Has Baltimore’s defense declined so much that Eli is correct in starting Woody Marks against them? Jaylen Waddle becomes WR1 in Miami and is unceremoniously benched. Strange things are amiss in the battle of The vs Thee but I think the Jets/Cowboys game might be lower scoring than Brendan needs. And even if it isn’t, Eli’s squad is too strong to go against right now.
PICK: ELI

Justin vs Brett
This matchup should probably air on Roku; there’s just not a lot to get excited about. The Champ has had two huge games in a row but the matchups in this one are bad and now Trey Benson is out and Justin’s cupboard is a bit bare. TJ Hockenson vs. Cleveland isn’t the most appealing Flex option. I would predict that this would be a Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease game and AJ Brown would be heavily targeted but he could be shadowed by Patrick Surtain II, which doesn’t bode well for hid catches. Brett picked up two so-so wide receivers but didn’t pick up an IDP so he might have to dump one of those guys. ESPN predicts that this one will be a low scoring affair and I can’t disagree. I honestly have no idea who is going to win this one but I’m going to roll the dice and go with Tee Higgins and Devonta Smith having breakout games.
PICK: BRETT