Week 9 Results

GAME OF THE WEEK

ERIC vs GRANT
While it wasn’t Gzme of the Week, this matchup was one of only three games to have both team in triple digits. Breaking 100 and nabbing a Points Victory is actually pretty impressive for Grant given Jared Goff and Derrick Henry combining for just 11 points. In a week filled by bad calls by yours truly, Rome Odunze proved The Gentleman wrong by hitting paydirt but he’s going to need to do a lot more than that in the future as Eric lost Puka Nacua for at least four weeks.
PICK: GRANT / WINNER: ERIC

UPSET OF THE WEEK

COLIN vs. DEREK
CALLED IT! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T TRADE JA’MARR CHASE?! Derek also might have stumbled upon a secret weapon in Jason Sanders as the Jets’ red zone offense is pathetic. Colin’s team continues to stumble as he once again can only go as far as Mr. Hailee Steinfeld takes him.
PICK: DEREK / WINNER: DEREK

BATTISTA’S DUD OF THE WEEK

Speaking of bad calls. “If Christian Gonzalez follows Christian Watson, Matthew Golden could have a big game against he Patriots.” Well, apparently whoever Gonzo was on was having a big game on Sunday. Brutal game for the Pats and for my predictive powers as Brett’s team took the Dud of the Week loser prediction, pinned it on the bulletin board, and then went out and dropped 168.9 points. FUN FACT: CJ Stroud threw for 45.2 points, throwing 5 TDs to his wide receivers, and Marvin Harrison Jr. mustered… 3 points. With Michael Wilson out for the season and Harrison looking like the 5th best WR in Houston, maybe the Texans and Cardinals undo that trade.
Another week of Nate letting down El Rey Rousseau. Kyle Pitts continued his feast or famine ways. Tet McMillan continues to be a steadier WR1 than Malik Nabers
PICK; NATE / WINNER: BRETT

ELI vs. MARK
Jaylen Waddle isn’t beating the allegations. He was in the starting lineup and got hurt again. At least he made it into the game, which is something Ladd McConkey couldn’t manage. He got hurt in warm ups but the team didn’t announce he was out until the game had already started. I think it’s also time to give up on Chase Brown. 6.3 yards per carry is nice but when you only get 9 carries, who fucking cares?! Eli’s team continues to creep towards .500, trying their best to not shame the Hall of Fame but missing the 14 team playoff.
PICK: MARK / WINNER: ELI

PLAYER #14 vs. YURK
In a shocking twist, Yurk dropped KIRK COUSINS for Drew Lock and then both QBs went out and dropped 14.6 points. But Yurk was able to muter a win in what turned out to be the true dud of the week because of Tee Higgins and Travis Kelce. The Veep saw Zay Flowers drop just 4.8 points on Thursday and somehow he ended up being one of Player #14’s better players this week. The Travis Hunter gambit continues to fail; this time with Hunter losing a fumble to knock his total for the day to 2.9.
PICK: YURK / WINNER: YURK

ANDY vs. NICO
What a god awful week for me. I thought Carson Wentz would give Jordan Addison a boost and that Adonai Mitchell would have a big game with Garrett Wilson out. Mitchell dropped a goose egg and Addison had 1.7 points until Wentz was benched. Luther Burden looked like he was taking the next step but then got knocked the fuck out on a hit that was somehow not called helmet-to-helmet. The Bucky and McCaffrey one-two punch has Slim Shady moving up the rankings as Nico’s fall from grace continues. Tucker Kraft outscore Tony Pollard by 1.4 points, which sounds good until you realize that Pollard was on bye. I will say though, Jordyn Tyson looked good and could be a real factor in he can stay healthy.
PICK: NICO / WINNER: ANDY

BERNIE vs MENDO
Did Max Brosmer save me from myself? In a classic Mendo game, I benched Zach Baun (who had his first two sacks of the season) for a guy who got hurt in the first quarter. I also picked the worst of my three WRs even though I KNEW I shouldn’t play Michael Wilson against the Seahawks. J Jetta’s last catch currently has me .1 over Bernie but I fear the stat correction gods will be against me. And you know why? Because after our lord and savior Kirk Cousins was dropped, I said that Yurk made the right move! The Curse of Cousins, Kirk aka COC,K has been pounding me ever since!
Bernie hasn’t been this excited watching a close shave since Tippi and Melany’s spa day on Satisfaction. But one Points Victory is all that Bernie needed to maintain his hold on first place as Nico and Brendan failed to grab a Point Victory this week.
PICK: MENDO / WINNR: ???

RAHUL vs BRENDAN
Brendan’s team didn’t have a good game but he got a schedule win, which also could be referred to as “playing against Rahul.”
Devin Singletary had his moment and scored.4.9 ooints. You might think I would make fun of that pathetic showing but he actually was the right call for the Flex spot as Jordan Mason and Aaron Jones fared worse, as did starters Greg Dulcich and Darius Cooper. Saquon Barkley was Rahul’s highest non-QB and even he couldn’t break double-digits with just 8.2,
Matthew Stafford’s inconsistent performances probably aren’t going to get any better with Puka out but maybe Josh Downs will finally get traded to a competent offense, which would also open up more looks for Tyler Warren. This NFL trade deadline could go a long way in elevating Brendan’s title hopes.
PICK: BRENDAN / WINNER: BRENDAN

DANA vs. JOHNNY
Harold Fannin Jr. had the grown man touchdown of the week but that wasn’t enough as everyone’s seventh favorite vaudeville act Ashton and Ollie combined for 11.4 points which was more than tripled by Kenneth Walker. K9 and CeeDee helped Johnny overcome a brutal outing from Malik Willis
PICK: JOHNNY / WINNER: JOHNNY