Week 6 Waiver Wire Report

Work has been kicking The Gentleman’s ass so this will be a quickie.

You know the waiver wire is getting thin when the leading target of the week is a Steelers receiver with zero TDs on the season. But Germie Bernard, whose mom couldn’t be bothered to figure out the correct spelling of the name Jeremy that she wanted for her child, is looking like he’s going to start getting more looks with Michael Pittman and Roman Wilson dinged up (and who knows how long DK Metcalf can stay healthy.) Nico shows his mastery over the league once again by outbidding The Commish by three dollars to take home the prize waiver wire candidate of the week.

The Commish took the silver medal in the next highest bidding as well as Derek more than doubled his price for Dameon Pierce. Congrats to Derek for spending $17 on a guy who gained 14 yards on 11 carries last week. On the bright side, the rushing numbers are better than the 2 receptions he got that managed to net him -2 yards.

Nico doubled down on the Aaron Rodgers pass attack, spending $15 dollars to get Pat Freiermuth. Freiermuth went to high school in Mark’s hometown so maybe Mark thought he could get a hometown discount but sadly that’s not how the waiver wire works. Poor Mark - whose team is set to be renamed yet again - can’t even get a win on the waiver market.

Eli might have lost the two biggest bids of the week but he won the bidding for Kendrick Bourne, a win that is even sweeter because he vanquished his arch-nemesis Brendan to land Arizona’s ascending WR. There’s rumblings of Carson Beck being closer and closer to unseating Jacoby Brissett, which might not bode well for Bourne who seems to only play well with former NE QBs.

The Gentleman made the week’s biggest waste of money but it was only 7 dollars. The Gentleman continues to commit to players on bad offenses and behind bad offensive lines as he lands Cleveland’s backup RB and potential last man standing if Quinshon Judkins can’t play this week.

Yurk saw Ryan Flournoy score in double-digits this week and decided to take the plunge. Derek landed Tyler Higbee, who has been better than I thought.

Eli notched his second waiver wire win of the season, stealing Jameis Winston from Johnny, who is concerningly keeping the Alt-Right name that Grant gave him. Has Player #14 won another convert? (Also, did we ever come to a final decision about what kind of win allowed someone to reclaim their team name?)

Yurk double-dipped in the WR pool as he took home Demario Douglas. I was just wondering if it was time for the Patriots to give up on Douglas and then he produced his best game of the season. Still, I think the Patriots need to see if they can upgrade his spot because Douglas isn’t doing nearly as much as the previous slot receivers in Josh McDaniels’s offense.

Johnny made the best pickup of the week as we FINALLY see the man, the myth, the legend KIRK COUSINS getting on a roster. A great example of how quickly pundits switch up their talking points is that the Raiders, who just two weeks ago were being talked up because of their surprising start, are now heading towards a QB controversy as “experts” are calling for Fernando Mendoza to get the starting nod.

Player #14 is the latest person to buy in on the Travis Hunter experience. It’s not surprising move for The Veep, who never saw a gay panic joke he didn’t find hilarious, because this obviously isn’t the first time he’s picked up a guy who goes both ways

Andy won a thrilling bid battle for Elijah Ponder, eking out a win of $1 over zero dollars.

This week’s winner of the Owl Award (Who? WHO?) is Johnny who grabbed Austin Booker, allegedly of the Chicago Bears. He also landed David Bailey for $1. It’s a little surprising that Bailey, who is now the favorite for defensive rookie of the year didn’t get more love.

For the post-wire move of the week, kudos to Eric who was apparently refreshing the site until the waivers cleared as he picked up AJ Barner at 12:38, a mere two minutes after the waivers were done.