Week 10 Picks!

The NFL trade deadline is behind us but the Vegas League trade deadline isn’t until November 28th so it’s time to start wheeling and dealing!

I do have to acknowledge that Bernie is probably DISTRAUGHT right now because after all of my mocking of one Harry Potter looking mother fucker on the Bucs, I’ve gone and picked up SirVocea Dennis this week. I still don’t believe that he’s a real person but he’s playing the Patriots, who can’t keep Drake Maye upright, so there’s a good chance Dennis gets his third straight game with a sack.

THE GENTLEMAN vs BRETT
In a battle that could have huge implications for the playoffs, Brett gets Jalen Hurts and Devonta Smith back but they’ll be facing what’s sure to be a stout Green Bay defense since the Packers seem to play to the level of their opponent and will be needing to fix their faces after an ugly loss to the Panthers last week. The bye week advantage is in favor of The Gentleman as he has nobody on bye while Brett has Tee Higgins (coming off a huge week after Joe Flacco was told that Ja’Marr Chase wasn’t the only WR on the team), Travis Kelce, and Nick Bolton.
The Gentleman has thrown out a bunch of potentially foolhardy trade offers into the ether so the team could look very different by the time the games start but I don’t think I’ll have hurt myself enough to lose this week. Neither team has great matchups, and Kyle Monangai could go off again against the Giants, but I’m going to bet on myself as we’re 4 - 0 on the road this season.
PICK: THE GENTLEMAN

ELI vs JUSTIN
Can The Champ salvage his season by upending the undefeated Borts? ESPN has it as a close one with Justin only being down about 4 once he puts Mark Andrews into his lineup. And I do believe that Stafford and McCaffrey could blow out Bo Nix and Derrick Henry this week. I just can’t say that I have a ton of faith in the rest of Justin’s lineup while Amon-Ra and Pittman could go off and Jonathan Taylor will be looking to bounce back after a lousy week.
PICK: ELI

RAHUL vs MARK
Another game that ESPN has around four points apart, Mark needs to right the ship here and get his team back to .500. The McBarge is floating on about a 110 point lead over Rahul so if he can get them even, he’ll leapfrog into the playoffs. The game might come down to Puka’s availability. although reports are that the Rams are optimistic that he won’t miss time. Jahmyr Gibbs should bounce back this week. For Rahul, there’s concerns with Nico Collins if CJ Stroud is out, and the Cardinals defense did a solid enough job slowing down CeeDee Lamb last week so perhaps JSN won’t have his usual deluge of fantasy points. Rahul shoring up his running back spot by picking up the Giants 1b, Devin Singletary, is certainly a choice, although Chicago’s defense isn’t scaring anyone so maybe the Giants running game can make some noise this week. As usual, it all comes down to Lamar - can the blitz-heavy Vikings keep the Jackson/Flowers stack from piling up points? This game is definitely the most difficult to choose but I’m going to harbor no ill will from my thrashing last week and go with the man that has me, at the moment, on the outside of the playoffs looking in.
PICK: RAHUL

BERNIE vs COLIN
Colin’s squad is banged up and Ja’Marr Chase is on his bye. Josh Allen could drop 50 on the Dolphins but I just don’t see enough healthy firepower on this roster for it to compete with the snake, especially if Quinshon Judkins is healthy enough to go against a demoralized Jets defense. ESPN has this as the blowout of the week and I can’t say that I disagree.
PICK: BERNIE

JOHNNY vs DEREK
Obviously, Johnny is beside himself this week as he’s facing the resurgent Sadat X while The Sneaker Pimps are without their first round pick, Brandon Aubrey. But Cairo Santos has been racking up the points so maybe it won’t turn the tides against Johnny. Derek is facing the bigger bye week issue - Rashee Rice is out this week - and while I like the Demario Douglas pickup, I’m not sure it is going to even things out. I do think Rome Odunze should get a ton of targets this week; his dad complained this past week after Rome put up a donut and the squeaky WR usually gets the targets. Unfortunately, Deebo Samuel now has Marcus Mariota throwing to him which makes the Chase trade even more regrettable, although Justin Herbert should throw for a ton of yards against Pittsburgh. The Herbert/Gadsden stack can’t be overlooked. This is a bonafide toss up as both teams have strong matchups.
PICK: JOHNNY

BRENDAN vs PLAYER #14
What a Tuesday evening for this game. The Veep saw a blue wave take out all of his favorite candidates - rumors are that Player 14 keeps asking Gigi to say crazy shit like Winsome Earl-Sears - and he and his OC brethren are going to get gerrymandered out of a house seat, but perhaps even more shocking is that Brendan - with no QB on his roster to replace Dak Prescott - didn’t bother to put in a single waiver claim this week. Is this it for Thee Gospel? Has he closed the Bible on this season? Or is this just the Brendandook playing dead? Brendan eventually picked up Justin Fields, who still hasn’t been named starter against the tough Browns defense. The matchup could be an issue as Fields is wildly boom/bust; of his seven starts, he has three games under 5 points, three games over 29 points, and one game with 22.7.
’Player 14 has a chance to put the final nail in Brendan’s coffin and I’m sure The Veep is loving that his team is now helmed by McCarthyism. Neither team should be happy about how many Jaguars are employed in this matchup, but I think the Veep’s Vikings will do enough to carry him to something his side couldn’t get on Tuesday - a victory.
PICK: PLAYER 14

ANDY vs DANA
I’d say this is the battle of the bottom but, after the election beating The Veep took, I’m sure he’d make some horrific homophobic joke about it so let’s just call this game The Suck-Off. Two men separated by one letter and one loss head into the arena; only one will emerge from that hole with glory!
My hot take for the game is that this is the week that Jerry Jeudy earns his keep, against a Jets team that just traded both of their starting cornerbacks. There’s a lot not to like in this matchup but the most damning issue is Brock Bowers against the Broncos and I still have more faith than I should in the Eagles run defense. This could come down to David Montgomery vs RJ Harvey - two backup RBs who could go off for three TDs at any moment. But, again, Dana is immune from the last place punishment after his team wisely benched Player 14 for the final round of Rock Band so Dandy Andy should be more focused on The Champ and Derek’s games this week. Maybe he can even do a podcast about them.
PICK: DANA