Rexpectations: They Will Kill You

One of my pet peeves is when people who clearly don’t like a genre or type of film review the films and seem shocked that they don’t like a movie they expected not to like. Now, I can’t say that I expected to hate They Will Kill You but it become apparent very early on that this is the exact kind of low brow, gore and violence are the draw, type of flick that is just not for me.

The plot of They Will Kill Me is, according to Wikipedia, “the film follows an ex-convict who answers an ad to be a housekeeper at a mysterious New York City high-rise that has seen a number of disappearances over the years.”

EXPECT: A WANNA-B MOVIE
I can’t say that I’m a fan of b-movies but I can at least appreciate that some films are so good that they are bad. What I have a harder time appreciating are films that try intentionally to be bad. I feel like a lot of the “comedy” of this movie revolves around the hokeyness of the effects. And the silliness of the violence. Again, that just does nothing for me so to see that this film cost three times as much as “Ready Or Note” which I think was a far superior movie just makes me think that it is a waste of money.

EXPECT: “BITCH” COMEDY
There are still WAY too many people making movies who think that adding “bitch” to the end of comments is the height of hilarity. To me, it’s just painfully lazy writing. But, again, that’s kind of the point of this movie. But there’s really nothing all that creative about this movie and nothing clever about the humor.

EXPECT: A WASTED CAST
This film has a number of recognizable names and, sadly, not a single one of them chews the scenery. Again, the script is so bad it’s just bad and there’s nothing to really work with.

If you like absurd, splatterhouse horror movies, you may not be let down by this one but I think I can say with some certainty that this isn’t a film that is going to win over any new converts to the genre. And, honestly, I wonder how much the “real” fans of splatterhouse will feel because it could be seen as a bit of a try hard as opposed to a legit entry into the genre. But, again, this film is clearly not for me so if this looks like a film you’d like, don’t let me dissuade you from seeing it.