Recxpectations: When You Finish Saving the World

Jesse Eisenberg’s directorial debut (he also wrote the film) is very Jesse Eisenberg. It’s awkward, revels in cringe, and has hints of cynicism but is very earnestly white. Early on in the film, it seems like it could have fun with Upper Class White People Problems but then the film turns out just to be about Upper Class White People Problems.

DON’T EXPECT: ANOTHER A25 BANGER. A24 has built a reputation for great flicks but this will not be ranked amongst them. Honestly, I don’t know if this movie gets picked up if it wasn’t for Eisenberg’s connections.

EXPECT: A THROWBACK TO AUGHTS INDIES. This film reminded me of the indie movement in the Aughts that focused simply on following a narcissistic character and seeing what happens. I think the main problem is that this film is a bit too superficial to be a character study and a bit too basic in its storytelling to really make much of any impact. Julianne Moore’s character was so oblivious to some things that I started to wonder if she was on the spectrum, which takes some fun out of the awkward moments.

EXPECT: A DISTRACTING SCORE. The score was synth heavy and there were a couple of times that it really came to the forefront and seemed more distracting than anything.

EXPECT: A LONG 88 MINUTES. One reason that I opted to see the movie was because of the shorter runtime but even at under 90 minutes, the film had me wanting to check my phone to see what time it was. The characters come off as unlikeable more often than not so it’s a chore to want to keep following them. (There’s also a key subplot that didn’t make any sense to me and obvious issues/concerns were ignored.)

In the end, the film might be most interesting when looked at as a reflection on Jesse Eisenberg. A glimpse into something that almost feels like it could have been a therapeutic exercise. But on its own, there’s just not enough there for When You Finish Saving The World to be anything more than a 90-minute distraction.

Recxpectations: Skinamarink

Skinamarink is the kind of movie that exposes the current issues with film reviews. To put it bluntly, most every critic will admit that the mainstream moviegoer will not enjoy this movie. I think even the biggest rave reviews will concede that it’s not for everyone. But still, when we look at a review, the rating doesn’t reflect that and often times, even reading the review won’t necessarily make that clear. It often takes some reading between the lines to figure out, “Well, that doesn’t sound like something I would like.” This is yet another example of why movie review aggregate sites are fairly worthless. I can’t imagine many of the 75% of positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes would argue that everyone should go see this film.

So, where do I think your head should be at if you go see it?

EXPECT: an experimental microbudget/student art house b-movie. Skinamarink is experimental to its core. You almost never see the characters in the film. 95% of the film are shots of the wall, ceiling, toys on the floor. There’s very little spoken and almost no dialogue. It’s grainy. The film’s intention isn’t to entertain but to recreate the feeling of being stuck in a nightmare. I think most people will see this as I did and think, “There’s no need for this to be 90 minutes long.” If you’ve never uttered the phrase “the audacity to break the form” or cited Dogme 95, then this movie probably isn’t for you.

@kevmendo Skinamarink is 100% not for me. #skinamarink #film #filmtok #movies #artfilm #experimental ♬ original sound - KevMendo

DON’T EXPECT: the movie to get going. Skinamarink starts with what feels like an endless amount of b-roll shots. And that’s pretty much how the movie goes. The characters do finally “appear” usually only voice or the rare shot of feet, but it’s a slow movie. The opening is not a slow start, it sets the tone.

EXPECT: STROBING. One might say the featured player of the film is the TV set. But the TV often goes in and out and the blinking of the TV against the low lit backdrop is a major red flag for epileptics and people who struggle with strobelights. One guy I follow on TikTok said that while he liked the movie, he had to leave because he was feeling like he could get sick.

EXPECT: a movie you appreciate more than enjoy. Personally, I think this is an art film for the sake of the art. It’s not really trying to tell much of a story. It’s not developing any characters. It doesn’t even really seem to have much to say. It’s recreating a nightmare on a budget. A big part of appreciating this film is knowing that it was made for relatively cheap and isn’t afraid to take a big swing in terms of approach. Personally, I thought it was a swing and a miss but I will readily admit that I am not the target audience for this kind of cinema.

Personally, Skinamarink will likely be my least favorite movie of the year. Possibly even the decade. And I feel like most people will either turn off the film or laugh at the end and wonder WTF?! But it’s worth checking out if you’re someone who enjoys experimental, experiential films.

For those who are interested but aren’t sure if they want to commit, over at TikTok, I recreated what it feels like to watch the movie.

Recxpectations: M3GAN

As a fan of variations on a theme, M3GAN is a perfect example of a film that I”d love to see remade by various filmmakers. Take 3 great horror directors and 3 great comedic minds and have them each make their version of the film. Because this is a film that offers a lot of different directions it can go and the film that was delivered kind of doesn’t choose any of them.

EXPECT: a first draft. Oh, what might have been. This film is a fun film but every moment could have been elevated, every character and arc could have been more developed, countless opportunities were squandered. My focus after the film was not on what I just watched but on what could have been. There’s a great picture to be made here but all we got was a sketch.

DON’T EXPECT: a horror film or an over-the-top comedy. I feel like most people will leave the theater wishing the filmmakers had fully committed to a direction. Really go for some scares or just say screw it and sell out for laughs. Instead, it feels like Blumhouse was trying to ride the line, kind of like it did with Happy Death Day but there’s not enough story in this to carry it.

EXPECT: a PG-13 film that was intended to be R. I’m not a fan of gore and I think the more “artistic” approach to some moments was better than just letting us watch the horror on-screen but you could definitely feel that they pulled some of their punches. And again, it feels like they just quickly/cheaply reshot some moments to get the rating down and didn’t invest enough time coming up with more creative options.
NOTE: My theater had a lot of young kids in it and I definitely don’t think that kids under 12 or 13 should be watching this film. The kids were also talking A LOT because I’m sure they were confused why the audience was laughing at moments that they thought were being presented as spooky.

EXPECT: a stupid movie. This probably should go without saying but M3GAN is goofy and dumb. This is where expectations play a huge role. Everyone will walk out saying, “That movie is STOOOOOOOPID!” Whether you’re laughing when you say it or upset about it is up to you.

EXPECT: a competently made B-Movie. Nothing in this movie stands out. The direction and cinematography are average. The acting is what it is. But all of it is competent enough that the film lacks the charm of the b-movies of old and their shoddy production. One could easily imagine this film being made in the 80s and being completely hokey; the kind of movie that is on a bar TV with no sound yet you’re still glued to it because of how bonkers it looks.

At the end of the day, I found M3GAN to be a fun but forgettable movie that, at the very least, makes for some fun post-film conversation, talking about all of places it could have gone.

The To Do List (Restaurants)

Another year, another To Do list of restaurants that I want to hit up sooner than later. This past year, Pijja Palace was by far my favorite new restaurant and I will definitely be eating there again. It might be my #3 favorite in LA now after Bavel and Bestia. I don’t expect any of the places on this list to crack my top three but they’re all interesting options in a city filled with fabulous feasting choices.

#1. dos besos (Pasadena): I always look at the menu before going to a restaurant and more often than not, I have an idea of what I want to try. When it comes to dos besos, there’s no question - I’m going to order their Paella del Mar.

#2. Pizzeria Sei (Pico-Robertson): When I moved to LA, the pizza was notoriously not good. It was so bad that places blamed the water and imported aqua from New York City in an attempt to make a better pie. Over the last two decades though, the pizza scene has exploded and the pizza desert is no more. One of the latest hyped pizza spots is Pizzeria Sei in… Mid City? I’m not sure what part of town Pico-Robertson is in but I know that I don’t get there often or ever but I’m going to make a special trip to check this place out.

#3. Sunday Gravy (Inglewood): Sunday Gravy is unique, not just because it’s an Italian restaurant owned/run by Iranians, but because it’s a place that is happy to be a local restaurant and thrive in its community rather than having an eye on expanding/franchising. I do have to admit to having a fairly basic palate and I don’t always appreciate the difference between great and good Italian food but I’d still like to make the trek to The Wood to try this spot out.

#4. Marlou (DTLA): Marlou (which also has a K-Town location) is yet another brick-and-mortar restaurant from former food truckers. And apparently, the chef is also known for appearing on one of Bravo’s Below Decks (Chef Marcos Spaziani.) I have more than enough Bravo in my life due to work but I’ll make room for a little more to try out this place that’s in walking distance to my apartment.

5. Antico Nuovo (Larchmont/Koreatown): I went to the original version of Chad Colby’s Antico when it opened in 2019 and it was pretty darn good. There were still some issues to deal with in service (they forgot one dish I ordered but the chef came out himself to apologize and offer some free ice cream) but I’m excited to see what the post-COVID rebrand is going to look like. Antico Nuovo is also supposedly a date spot so if I ever do decide to get back on that horse, Antico Nuovo might be a nice option. Then again, the food looks so good that maybe it’s better I not make a place where I’ll likely be scarfing down the food like an animal the place to make a first impression.

Honorable Mention: Chi Spacca (Hancock Park): Part of Nancy Silverton’s Mozzaplex, Chi Spacca is actually where Antico Nuovo’s Chad Colby rose to prominence. The only reason it’s Honorable Mention is that it’s been on my To Do list for years and I still have never made it out there so it feels almost like I’m setting myself up for failure if I keep it in the Top 5.

And so people don’t think LA has made me go all posh, with nothing but fancy sit-down restaurants on my list, there are also the burger options on my To Do list: The latest hyped burger spot Heavy Handed in Santa Monica, Burger She Wrote just opened a second location in Hollywood (the original is in Beverly Grove), Hi Ho Cheeseburger (various locations but I’ll probably hit up the Studio City one) because it was recommended by James Ferris, and For The Win. which is opening up a stand in Grand Central Market but I want to go to the Hollywood location since it’s the old Raffallo’s pizza on Franklin that I swore had to be a front for something because there was never anyone there. In fact, one time, I called for delivery and they said they were only serving at the restaurant so I walked down the hill (yes, I lived within walking distance but it was a very steep hill!) and went to the location and they told me they were only doing delivery.

Also, one final honorable mention is Secret Pizza. During quarantine, a guy decided to start making pizza, and he thought it was pretty good so he started offering to make pizzas for people, and now it’s being talked about as one of the best pizzas in Los Angeles. He had been cooking it out of his apartment the whole time but it seems like he’s found an actual spot to make his pies because the pick up spot (and it’s only available by pick up) is now on the Eastside.

Hopes for Film Discourse in 2023

I’m a big fan of Tik Tok and I find the movie discourse on there to be interesting enough but there are always ways to improve. So here are five ways in which I think film talk on the Tok could get better in the new year.

1) Never Mention Rotten Tomatoes
Rotten Tomatoes is a flawed metric in almost every way and I honestly don’t know if there’s ever a reason to reference it in a discussion.

2) Vocal Minorities Accept Their Position
As someone who often likes movies and music that don’t hit with the mainstream, I wish that people in the minority would accept that most people don’t like the art that they do. There’s nothing wrong with discussing the film and celebrating it but there’s a ton on Tik Tok of umbrage and defensiveness when people discover that the film they like isn’t exactly popular. And rarely, if ever, do I see people actually trying to figure out WHY the film didn’t hit with other people. When faced with an opposite view, the reaction on Tik Tok is to just double down on “It’s a classic!” rather than be inquisitive on why others didn’t like or even loathed something one loved. And there’s one response in particular to this that I’d love to never see again and that’s…

3) Stop Blaming Audiences
This goes beyond Tik Tok. We’ve seen directors and actors blame audiences for their films not doing well or being poorly received but it’s even worse on Tik Tok where people are constantly defending their own taste by trying to disparage or outright dismiss the tastes of others. It’s reductive, usually wrong, and has no real value in terms of discourse.

4) Less Debate, More Discussion
This is something that’s needed in all discourse. Debate is about winning an argument. Discussion is about uncovering a truth. In politics, discussion focuses on solving a problem while debate (which is all we ever get nowadays) is just grandstanding to make one look better. In a discussion, people consider what others think whereas in debate, it’s often just people repeating their points or knee jerk defending how they feel. Now, to be fair, I should probably listen to podcasts over Tik Tok if this is what I want but the podcast snippets I see on Tik Tok don’t exactly make it seem like discourse is better over there. I’d just love to see more back and forths, more Tik Toks asking questions than repeating opinions, etc. A lively discussion could also be a way to generate more content, which could help eliminate the last issue..

5) Fewer Top 10 lists
I get it. Lists are easy to do. (Even this one is guilty of ease over extensive discussion.) Lists are cheats for more engagement since all you need to do is put one wacky entry in your list and suddenly people will be compelled to comment or stitch your list. (This is basically the M.O. for all online lists nowadays.) But we’re getting to the point on Tik Tok that people are going to have to start going with “Best films that start with the letter Q” because everything else has been done. I just would love to see people put a little more thought into their content and maybe dive a little deeper into topics and come up with something better.

Recxpectations: Babylon

Recxpectations are my recommended expectations people should have when they head to the theaters to see a new movie. I try to keep them as objective as possible but sometimes the feelings seep their way in. Anyway, without further ado, here are my recxpectations for BABYLON, the new film from La La Land’s Damien Chazelle and starring Diego Calva, Margot Robbie, and Brad Pitt.

EXPECT: Boogie Nights set in the 20’s and 30’s. There are so many similarities between these movies that it became distracting, so I feel like it’s best to know going in that this, at times, feels like a remake of Paul Thomas Anderson’s classic. One key difference between the two is that, in Babylon, everyone starts off the movie drugged up and wasted.

EXPECT: spectacle. This is not a story-driven film or a character piece. The main characters are basically archetypes and - in another key difference from Boogie Nights - we rarely see them struggle to make decisions or weigh the consequences of their actions. They’re mostly there to take us through this crazy world and wild time in Hollywood.

DON’T EXPECT: the film to feel like three hours. NOTE: The film’s runtime is indeed three hours so prepare for that.
I saw the film at Alamo Drafthouse, one of the places that serves you food and drinks at your seat. Usually, they bring the check with around 30 minutes left in the movie and I was surprised when I saw my check dropped off because it didn’t seem like 2.5 hours had passed. Because the film is heavy on spectacle and light on slowing things down to let characters marinate on what has happened or even think for a second about what they are doing, the pacing is fast and there’s always something on screen engaging your id. That is until the very end…

EXPECT: an unnecessary epilogue. It didn’t beat out “Bullet Train” for the 2022 Wrap It Up Already! award for movie that just wouldn’t end but it came close.

DON’T EXPECT: Diego Calvas’s character Manny to be the emotional core. When the movie starts, it seems like Manny is going to be the guy the audience connects with but he has almost zero reaction to the insanity around him and he, in particular, almost never seems to struggle with the decisions he makes. He doesn’t grow in the film, he just changes from one scene to the next. Also, DON’T EXPECT his race to be an issue. It felt to me like an odd oversight for a film that takes place in the early 20th century, especially when there are racial issues with other characters.

EXPECT: some bad ADR. It’s ironic that a movie about films changing from silent movies to talkies struggled with the audio but there were some a bunch of moments when the ADR (Additional Dialog Replacement) felt pretty obvious.

In the end, I would recommend going in expecting a wild ride from one often comedic set piece to another in this coked-out ode to Hollywood and all of its problems. It’s a film as messy as Hollwood itself.

Proposal for new NBA logo

There’s been talk of switching up the NBA logo and I have a proposal.

My plan would have the NBA logo change every year. The league office logo can stay as the Jerry West classic logo but the logo used for the season would be of the MVP or Finals MVP. I quickly (and poorly) photoshopped some options for what could have been this season’s logo.

If the king wants to stay petty…

Imagine those done by a non-novice at photoshop and what do you think? I honestly don’t even think that it will be THAT big of a change because there are really only so many poses that you get out of a basketball game. They’ll all be variations of dribbling, dunking, shooting, rebounding, defensive stance. (Would a bllocked shot work in a silhouette?) Maybe someone could try the double-flex but that is probably tough to fit in a thin, vertical logo.